Last night, I found myself thinking about the idea of age appropriate style when it comes to getting dressed. Random things pop into my head as I’m falling asleep and I take it as a sign that I should write a blog post!
I actually think the idea of age appropriateness is one of the biggest things holding women back from being creative with their wardrobes.
We have so many rules rolling around in our heads…is this too young? Too old? Too trendy? Too much? Not enough? Before we’ve even gotten dressed, we’ve talked ourselves out of trying something different.
Women tell me all the time that they have a “uniform”. They wear some version of the same thing every day. For some, that’s exactly what they want and there’s nothing wrong with that. But for others, I think it’s become a default…“I’ll wear what’s comfortable and predictable. Then I don’t have to think about it, and I know I’ll be dressed appropriately for my age”.
I honestly think that most women really do want to express themselves through their clothing but don’t know how, or they think it requires a huge wardrobe, or that it’s too expensive. But…none of those things are actually true.
I think it starts with something much simpler. It starts with asking yourself one question that I know you’ve all heard before.
How do I want to feel today?
For me, that’s the first step in getting dressed but you have to practice it! Once I know how I want to feel…creative, confident, elegant, interesting, relaxed, then the outfit starts to become clear. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes when I’m in a hurry, I put on the thing that I can find most easily, but that’s not what we’re talking about here…
Dressing creatively does take a little more time because it requires thought instead of habit. But once you begin approaching your closet that way, it gets easier. It becomes less about throwing something on and more about enjoying the process.
Last fall I did a 5 Day Style Challenge here on the blog. Every day I gave a prompt designed to encourage women to wear what they already owned in new and different ways. I participated in the challenge right along with everyone else, and honestly, I surprised myself with what I came up with! I put together outfits I never would have thought to wear if I hadn’t challenged myself and it was so much fun! I even had a few women post pictures of themselves on Instagram stories and tag me! It felt really good to know that people were actually doing the challenge.
Sometimes we just need to look at our closets with fresh eyes and a style challenge can do just that.
We have to challenge ourselves in every way if we’re going to grow (I call it Creative Courage). Instead of asking, “What in the world am I going to wear?” the focus becomes, “What can I create today?”.
I’d love to do another style challenge this fall. Maybe sometime in the middle of September when we’re all beginning to think about sweaters, boots, jackets, and layering again. Let me know your thoughts and if you would be interested in participating!
But all of this brings me back to the original question.
Is age appropriateness actually a thing?
I think it is…at least for me.
Yesterday I cleaned out my closet and ended up with a pile of clothes for my daughters. They weren’t bad pieces…they just didn’t feel like me anymore and I realized that’s totally different than saying they were “too young”. I have just evolved and know what feels good to wear.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much clearer about how I want to feel when I get dressed. I want to project confidence, creativity, individuality, chicness and maybe even a little boldness. I don’t necessarily want to project youthful frilliness.
That doesn’t mean I won’t wear a beautiful dress with ruffles because I will. It just means I don’t want to look like I’m trying to be twenty-five.
The same goes for showing skin. I’m still perfectly happy wearing sleeveless tops and shorts, but I probably won’t wear spaghetti straps or very short shorts. Not because it’s “the rule”, but because I’ve learned where I feel the most confident. I’d rather accentuate the features I love than draw attention to the ones I don’t.
That’s a very different mindset than dressing because someone told me what a woman my age should wear.
I recently came across a woman on Instagram (@officiallymrsg) who is in her eighties wearing some incredibly bold outfits that many women in their twenties maybe wouldn’t even attempt. I admire her confidence and the fact that she’s dressing entirely on her own terms. She’s clearly making a statement, and I respect that. Personally, though, I don’t think the clothes are particularly flattering on her, and seeing her made me realize something about myself. I don’t actually want to dress like I’m twenty-five. I want to dress like my version of sixty-three…the one that feels good to me. I’ll show a little bit of my stomach now and then, and I’ll absolutely wear something bold, but I also want to feel comfortable and confident. It’s not that I care all that much about what other people think, but I also don’t want to wear something simply because I’m trying to prove a point.
I think one reason the coastal grandmother aesthetic has resonated with so many women, older and young…the clothing is relaxed, comfortable and effortless, but it can also be incredibly chic. It isn’t trying to be younger. It’s simply confident in what it is.
Haha there’s always a – BUT THEN…
Yesterday a package arrived with a Guns N’ Roses tank that was gifted from Alice + Olivia (pictures coming soon). It has rhinestones around the neckline, and I absolutely love it. Admittedly, I was a Guns N’ Roses fan in my 20s but that’s another story. This tank reminded me of going to a concert years ago and of a younger version of myself that was a bit of a rebel.
I held the shirt up along with a black and white gingham dress with a hand painted flower and said to Baldy…”Can these two items belong to the same woman?” Well…I guess they can and that woman is me. I love the tee just as much as I love the dress…depending on my mood, of course!
I suppose that’s the beauty of confidence at any age.
We’re aren’t just one thing…we’re allowed to be polished and rebellious, classic and unexpected, romantic one day and rock-and-roll the next.
Age appropriateness isn’t really about following someone else’s rules..it’s about knowing yourself well enough to choose clothing that reflects who you’ve become.
This is all so interesting to me and the art of getting dressed is what draws me to fashion more and more as I get older…I love it now more than ever. It isn’t all about the clothes, it’s about becoming more yourself everyday.
I would love to know your thoughts on this! Please leave a comment and tell me how you feel about age appropriatness!
Thanks so much for reading today!
~XOXO Suzanne
Suzanne, I couldn’t agree more that it’s all about what you feel energized wearing because it relflects who you are and how you see the world more than how the world sees you!
The Guns and Roses tee is the exact reason I love following you! Unexpected and fun in an elevated way. Right on!
Hi Kelly! Your comment made my day! I had fun writing this post and hope it resonated with people! Women have enough to worry about without rules! What’s right for one person isn’t right for another! Fashion should be a creative process!
You are so spot on that most of us dress for comfort. My daily outfit depends on what chore I am tackling for the day so most of the time I look pretty sloppy. But I need to spend more time looking through my clothes and trying to find news ways to wear them. Your challenge would be fun and really stretch my imagination. What I do believe is you have to feel comfortable in your own clothing otherwise you have wasted your money. Thanks for this thought provoking read.
Hi Harriet
I totally agree with you…if it doesn’t feel good when you put it on, you’ll never wear it anyway! If you have time one day, put a few outfits together that you really like and hang them in a separate place in your closet so you can just pull them out when you want. I can’t wait to do another challenge and I hope people will participate! Thank you so much for your comment!