How do you keep your thoughts from taking over your life? Your constant thoughts become repetitive and cyclical and they create your perception..  That perception then creates your experience. 

I always write these posts when I need to give myself a pep talk and last time, someone suggested that when I write a post like this…I talk more about my personal experiences so – here goes…

Looking back on my life, I was taught things that simply aren’t true. My parents did the best they could, and I know that they loved me, but they taught me what they believed to be true. They taught me that life is hard, you have to work hard to have anything, that money is hard to come by and must be saved and spent very very frugally. They taught me that being too emotional isn’t a good thing and that showing too much affection isn’t either. My family didn’t hug…at least not that I remember. We all live for and thrive on love, praise, attention and being heard, seen, safe and understood, no matter our age.

My father was extremely critical of me and I never felt that I did anything right. Looking back, I know he was trying to help me, but it only taught me to not like myself. I’m also pretty sure that he had no idea what to do with me as I became an adolescent. I felt that I needed to be fixed, that something was wrong with me and believe me…that never leads to anything good. From what I can remember, I was pretty happy as a young child, but my teenage years were a nightmare. I ended up dropping out of college, getting married at 20 and having my oldest daughter Lauren at 23. Divorced at 25 and remarried to Baldy at 27, needless to say, my life was a mess. How in the world do you create a happy marriage and raise children when you have no idea how to even love yourself, or that it’s even a thing?

*If you’re reading this and you know me…please know that I loved my dad very much. This is my memory and I’m sharing because I know others have been through similar situations. I know he did the best he could.

Most of my live has been controlled by cyclical thoughts. My unconscious thoughts kept me dwelling in the past, blaming others for my life and projecting all of that hurt and blame into the present. I was always looking for someone or something that would make things better. That was my default for living and it really wasn’t living at all. I’m not saying every single moment of my life has been miserable, but I certainly created a lot of chaos because I continued to believe old worn out thoughts that never served me in the first place.

I’m not certain how many years ago I started to realize that there was a better way and more to this life than looking outside myself for answers. I will warn you, when you start that search for truth, more chaos can and usually does happen. The Universe starts to show you what needs to change and it’s not always easy. I was a needy, unhappy girl, waiting for someone to do something to make me happy and I learned the hard way that it doesn’t work that way. Happiness comes from within. It comes from loving who you are fully and completely. I believe that I’m PART OF. something much larger than myself. and that “that something” dwells within me. Call it God, Universe, Source or whatever rings true to you.

Every morning, even on the days I don’t feel like it or think I don’t have time, I start my day with meditation, prayer and gratitude. I try my best to go back to it as often as I can throughout the day. It’s become larger than anything else in my life and has changed who I am. I’m so much more aware of my thoughts and how they are affecting me and the unhappiness that I bring on myself (and others) from going back to blaming others and doubting myself. When I go to that place I now have a quick realization that in that moment, I’ve separated myself from everything that is good and true and gone back to that cyclical thinking that never served me. Being so aware of how I’m feeling (which is so important because it’s your indicator of how off track you are) can be hard, but it shows me that I need to get myself back together and take responsibility for how I’‘m feeling. It’s not always easy…some days I seem to want to wallow in self pity…

It’s very scary to think that most people in the world are operating from unconscious thoughts and believe things that never were true in the first place…looking for answers outside of themselves from religion, drugs, or other people.

What is true is this…If your thoughts aren’t in harmony with love and beauty…it they make you feel bad, anxious, fearful or angry…it’s time to change them. Easier said than done…right?

Watch your thoughts and your words and try not to say or think what you don’t want to experience.  Have you ever heard the quote that “worry is just a prayer for things you don’t want”. That’s true of any negative thought. Your thoughts can take you out and cause total chaos but nothing comes into your experience uninvited…you create it and you allow it. Living consciously and minding your mind is a daily practice that takes dedication. No one will ever be perfect and that’s not the goal.

We are not perfect human beings, nor do we have to pretend to be. But is necessary for us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

Spiritual practice and meditation give you insight into truth and help to keep your thoughts from thinking you. 

I wrote this post on Sunday morning because I totally went down a rabbit hole of self doubt and expecting someone else to make me feel better. I always figure if I’m going through something, then someone else must be too. I’ve learned from comments and emails that telling my story can and does help others. Even if it’s just one person, it’s worth it to me.

We all have something special to give and we are all creators in some way. Shining your light is creating because it’s sharing. Don’t waste your creativity making excuses about why you’re not happy. Every single person is here to share and shine and you can’t do that if you’re living in old thought patterns that keep you stuck in things that happened a long time ago or living with false beliefs. We all have wounds that need healing. You can never heal by staying stuck in and therefore recreating the past over and over again.

I have talked so much about meditation, but maybe I’ve never said it like this. Meditation allows you to realize that you are awareness. You can sit and be aware of your thoughts, but not think them. That’s when you become aware that you don’t have to believe everything your ego is trying to make you believe. Ego isn’t the thing that makes you think you’re better than everyone else..It’s the thing that makes you think you have to always be in survival mode which keeps you thinking about all those things that you made you feel unsafe in your life. Ego is a coping mechanism. We don’t need to cope, we need to thrive. Meditation allows you to get your creative juices flowing and to realize that a thought is just a thought. You can have a thought and consciously observe it and decide whether you believe it or not. You (yes you) have the ability to choose what to think and to not let your thoughts control you. Create the life you want and inspire others to do the same. Listen to what your heart longs for and focus on that. Stay present, learn how to feel good and vibrate on a higher level. Negative thoughts only take you down.

Don’t get me wrong. You are human and you will go back to old thought patterns from time to time, you will get stuck in fear, doubt and worry. You will watch the news and become afraid to go outside, but here’s the difference…when you realize that you are ultimately in control of your thoughts, you will be aware that you’re allowing yourself to go to a place you don’t want to be and you will also know that you can – sometimes quickly and sometimes with a little pain and suffering, change your thoughts and come back to a place of peace and clarity.

I love this quote…

“You can figure anything out. Fear is an illusion, failure is a lesson, success is finite. THE JOY IS THE JOURNEY.” ~ Jasmine Star

I’m 100% percent positive that life is meant to be good and we are supposed to thrive! We are beautiful, mysterious messes with the capability of changing our lives and the lives of those around us for the better! Begin now…Your evolution is waiting! Let’s all celebrate how far we’ve come and bring others with us on this crazy journey!

If you took the time to read all the way to the end…thank you!…and I want to ask a favor…please, please, leave a comment. Do you like these posts, do they help and would you like to see more of them? And…if you know someone who could benefit from reading post…who is struggling with self love and self forgiveness…please share!