“Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.”

Sarah’s Wedding
This is one of those times when I feel I have to speak up and say what I’m thinking. I don’t write a post like this very often and last time I did, some people stopped following, but so be it. This is one of those times when I feel that my words are better than my silence. It’s who I am and I’m writing out of concern and love. I know that my tribe will stick with me.
I usually pride myself on not watching television, but I have not been able to pull myself away for the past two days. I have watched the hearings on Judge Kavanaugh and I am sickened. As a woman from the same generation, I can say that I grew up in a time when so much more was accepted as “normal”…meaning “boys will be boys”. This is not acceptable and I know, without telling my story here, that these attitudes have kept women from coming forward with their stories for many years. When you feel unimportant, sometimes invisible, “not as good as”, or when you simply want to be loved, but don’t know exactly what love is supposed to feel like, these situations can be confusing. You blame yourself, you don’t think you’ll be believed, you just want to get over things, or you’re just plain scared, not to mention embarrassed, to come out with your story.
My question is…why in the world would an educated, accomplished woman with a life, subject herself to so much criticism, turmoil and just plain pain and suffering if she weren’t telling the truth. Sexual abuse and violence isn’t something you just get over. When your body is violated, it affects your heart and your soul and therefore it affects your life for many years to come. Women are strong and we go on and most of us are able to carve out lives that have so much beauty and love in spite of what we’ve been through. Our past, however, can affect our decisions and that can be good or bad. When you live with fear and insecurity, and that’s what happens when you’ve been violated, it’s hard to live a totally authentic life. It is time for women to be able to speak up and tell their truth without being told that they have an ulterior motive. It’s time for our society to truly be equal. My daughters are worried that their reproductive health care will be compromised, that their rights will be compromised and it is a valid concern with the way things are going in this country. Women matter…and for the most part, hold our society together with love and compassion. Let’s support each other and when a woman is brave enough to come out and tell her story, let’s believe her because speaking up is not an easy thing to do. #metoo is a real thing.
There is so much more I could say. I will end by saying that I don’t believe Christine Blasey Ford had a political motive. She just wanted to do what she felt was the right thing. I believe that we (this country) could find someone else to be a supreme court judge…someone that would bring us together instead of tearing us apart. What is wrong with that? My prayer is that the world will be a kinder place as my daughters and grandchildren get older. People are people and respect is important, period.
Stated so perfectly! Thank you for sharing !
Thank you Deborah for reading and for commenting!
Thank you for speaking out. The actions and words of all of the senators was harsh and so unnecessary. I believe Christine Blasey Ford and don’t care who knows it. Let’s hope that over time we can elect more women into powerful places who will listen to and respect all women. We can change things and better our country and this world by voting for women. Change begins with our actions and our votes.
So true Diane! Our votes are so important. It seems that the balance of power has been off for some time now. I really can’t imagine why someone would put themselves through what Christine has been through if they weren’t telling the truth and hoping for a greater good to come from it!
Totally agree. Well said, Suzanne.
Thank you Deborah! Hopefully this will all end well and our country will be stronger for it!
We have to speak out, be strong and work for a new normal. Thank you for posting this.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I totally agree!
Thank you Renea…yes I so agree. The norm has been unacceptable.
I would urge everyone who is upset to make a list of all the undecided senators and start calling their offices ASAP. As an Arizona resident, I called Jeff Flake’s office three times and Jon Kyl’s office (he is temporarily holding John McCain’s seat, but previously held Flake’s seat) and gave them an earful about how we must get to the bottom of this fiasco before Kavanaugh can be elevated to a LIFETIME position on the Supreme Court. I am a registered Republican and the rush to get this through before midterm elections rather than focusing on finding the best person to be on the Supreme Court frightens me. I think our country is on the brink of an explosion if the Senate doesn’t slow the process down and fully investigate the claims of ALL the women who have made accusations against Kavanaugh. Every woman I know is sick about this…
Yes Sonja…we do need to make our voices heard. I have to believe that what is happening now is going to be a good thing for women in this country. We are finally being heard and hopefully this will bring about change.
Thank you for speaking up about this. There are many kinds of "abuse" besides sexual abuse that women experience. The disrespect from these men on display this week was shocking to me. It has opened my eyes and compelled me to speak out, something I normally would never do. However, this has weighed so heavily on my heart that I feel I have to.
I feel the same way. All day on Friday I was just in a funk. It brought up so many feelings for me. As women we must speak up, but we desperately need men to speak up and show support as well. This man cannot be confirmed.
Thank you Suzanne. This is a very important time for all women. I listened to C-Span on Thursday hearing girls and women from 17 to 71 responding to Dr. Ford’s testimony. This is not about partisan politics. This is about abuse . I am not a psychologist. But I do know in most cases, abuse is about power, rage and entitlement. Ironically, I saw just those same personality traits on display by Judge Kavanaugh on Thursday afternoon. Yes, our women friends, daughters and granddaughters are watching how these events will unfold. But also, so are our men friends, spouses, sons and grandsons….
It is so important to make our voices heard especially now. If the truth were to really come out, I’m sure that a really high percentage of women have their own "me too" story. It’s such an important time in our country and we all have the power to speak up for change.
Thank you Suzanne for stating simply and with heart what you and many, many women are feeling in their souls. I feel a sadness for what the "State of the Nation" has become since 2016. But also a glimmer of hope that now that we have been exposed to such darkness that we will work to bring light where it is so desperately needed. We must speak, with a kind yet strong voice, for ourselves for our children.
Yes for our children and for ourselves…
Thank you for commenting Barbara.
As a Canadian, I speak for many of us (women and men) who are following this in disbelief. Thank you for speaking up about this.
This whole situation is such an embarrassment for our country. I really hesitated to write this post, but I’m so glad I did. Thank you for your comment.
I just don’t understand why now!
As a Woman, A mother, a Sister, an Aunt, we need to protect each other – people WE all love our dads, sons, brothers, and husbands . We love and value our mothers, daughters, sisters , cousins, colleagues. It’s not about she/he it’s about US! Compassion, communion, Community! Unity is in CommUNITY!
We all are disgraced from this behavior across the board! Very sad day…..
It is totally about us. When one is better…all are better. We must start right now to protect the rights of all people in our country. It’s frightening to think about what has been brushed under the rug, starting at the very top in our government.
Hi Suzanne,
I appreciate how well you put this into words. I’ve been walking around with a heavy heart and an ache in my stomach since the hearing began. I can not believe how ego and power transforms people. The anger, arrogance and entitlement in that room was disturbing. I sat and watched in disbelief.
But, the truth is real, and I believe the truth will prevail.
Wake up people and smell the change in the wind…women will not sit down and quietly accept this abuse anymore.
This entire state of affairs is so, so sad and bewildering and beyond troubling, and a direct threat to all the women in this country. And guess what men, WE OUTNUMBER YOU!
And, we have voices and we will be heard! LADIES: VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!!!!
Xo Heidi
Yes Yes and yes! I will be watching today as events unfold and praying that people will realize that it isn’t about politics. It’s about doing the right thing. I do believe that change is in the air and it’s about time!
Thanks for getting political. One last thing before I sign off and never return to your website: Think of your grandson – what if one day a woman comes along and accuses him the same way Dr. Ford accused Kavanaugh. How would you feel?