Hi Everyone! This is a long post, so I hope you’ll grab another cup of coffee and read! Disclaimer: This post is MY opinion.
Recently, I was having dinner with a group of people, including a young college girl. She shocked me by making a flippant comment about being a feminist. Call me naive, but I thought that most younger women were feminists. To me, being a feminist is a knowledge that you have the freedom to choose…but before that, to even know that you have a choice. It took me many years to realize that I could rise above the way of thinking that had dominated my life for so many years. The way of thinking that stopped me from finishing college, that caused me to get married when I was 19, that caused me to quickly get married again and, that left me feeling that I was stuck and financially dependent because of my choices. Financial freedom isn’t just about having the money to pay for the necessary things in life (and sometimes more), it can also be a freedom of the mind allowing you to live the life that you choose. Women have historically made less money than men for doing the same job and have in the past and maybe still are limited as to the jobs that they are hired to do. According to the National Women’s Law Center, “Women in the U.S. who work full time, year round are paid only 80 cents for every dollar paid to men — and for women of color, the wage gap is even larger.” They have been and still are, the primary caregivers to their children as well as having the responsibility for taking care of the home. In addition, the responsibility of taking care of aging parents also usually falls on women. I think that some very progressive couples are starting to show that sharing the responsibilities of the family is possible, but it is still, unfortunately, not the norm.
I will agree that I made the choice to be in every situation, however, the point I’m making is that there is a different way of thinking by most younger women, because society has become open to the idea that women can be, do, and have anything they want and are willing to go after. Younger women benefit from the collective societal ways of thinking whether they realize it or not, just as I was affected by the collective way of thinking when I was growing up. I’m saddened to know that there are women (especially very young women) who don’t understand that the lives they are able to live now and the opportunities that they are afforded, were fought for by strong women in previous generations. Can you believe that just 55 years ago, in 1963 when I was born, women had only been able to vote for 43 years. That means that when my grandmothers were 18, they legally could not vote.
I decided to look up the definition of feminism, because I started writing this purely based on my emotions. Here is the definition from Marion Webster:
the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests
From Wikipedia:
Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. Existentialism (a philosophical theory or approach that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.)
In order for our society to change we have to begin to change the circumstances for women in all cultures because we have become a global world, we should care simply because we are human. We are all one and when someone hurts, everyone ultimately hurts. It’s going to have to be the priority going forward.
I believe in the idea of equal partnership. I believe in the idea that we should be on the same team, that women and men are more alike than different. We should all be working for the best society possible and in order for that to happen, we all have to be playing by the same rules. We all want, in the end, the same basic things and we ALL feel pain when we are hurt. That is one of the most profound things we share as human beings. Hurt people hurt people and there is a great deal of hurt in this world. People hurt people as a result of their own inner strife and pain. Now that we have begun in “mainstream thinking” to move past the antiquated societal beliefs that women are not equal to men, we must continue to make sure that the care and ensured equality of women and, as a result, children, is reflected in our laws.
I might be going down a treacherous path here, but I’m only sharing what I’ve learned and what really shocked me when I started to do research on this post (a simple google search is mind boggling), were the things I read about the white supremacy movement when it comes to women. There seems to be an organized plan and there are surprisingly women on board. Why would women (or anyone) agree to that in the first place??? It’s an extreme view and one of the best reasons to support feminism. There is soooo much extreme thought out there and this blog post was originally going to just be my opinion on how the women that came before us had worked so hard to get us to where we are today. What I quickly realized after doing more research than I had intended is that we have come a long way, but we still have so far to go!
It seems that we are in a very contradictory time with the combination of the “Me too” movement and the current state of rolling back so much of the progress that has been made in social reform over the past years. (This is my personal opinion).
I am so grateful that my daughters live in a time where they have the opportunity to do anything they want to do. They are educated and smart (two different things) because they realize the choices they make in their lives will affect their futures. Realizing that you have a choice is half the battle.
It is my hope that we can come together as a country and most especially as women for the good of everyone. We all must support one another and women must support each other!
I was recently at a blogger conference in NYC and Gloria Steinem was the keynote speaker. As usual, I was one of the oldest women there and completely honored to be in the presence of such a legend. I listened intently as she spoke and I made a few comments after to a few of the other girls there, only to realize they had no idea who she even was! Kudos to the organizers of this blogger conference for introducing her to a younger generation. We all pave the way for the generations to come and the responsibility for making the world a better place is up to all of us!
I would love to know your thoughts on this post! There are so many things running through my mind these days! Please leave me a kind considerate comment if you would like! Thanks for reading!
This is a deep issue and I have to think about it more but I agree with you. I reflect on my life and see how I never really chose the roads I went down but more stumbled onto where I felt I had to go to stay safe and survive. I did what I did out of instinct more than intellectual thought until at the age of 30 when I started college. I went full time for eleven years until I earned a doctorate. I worked and raised my two sons mostly by my self that whole time. That was the decade when I learned that premeditated decisions were the best. Not quick decisions made out of desperation or need but planning and following that plan. Women of our generation have made life so much better for the younger generations. Through blood, sweat and tears we now live lives that are the outcomes of our fight to be equal, heard, and seen. Even now I fight for my place in this world. Most days I am proud though of where I came from and where I am. The journey has been interesting and made me strong and I am grateful for that. Great post!
Cheryl
http://www.northwestmountainliving.com
Cheryl, you must be so proud of all you have accomplished! Raising children is a tough job, but to go to school, and earn a doctorate at the same time, is an amazing accomplishment. I feel the same way about fighting for my place in the world. All of us have different situations, but I’m still trying to figure out my path. One of my greatest regrets is not finishing college. I’ve said before, I graduated from the "school of hard knocks"! At this point in my life, I am not willing to make the commitment to go back to school, but who knows what the future holds! I admire you for everything you’ve done. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!
It’s so interesting how the younger women view "feminism". Like it’s gotten a bad rap. How could that be when it’s paved the way for all of us in life?
I’m very lucky that my mom believed in being a feminist and worked hard for her own right. She led the way for me to do the same.
I absolutely love that quote too, Suzanne!!
It does seem that the word "feminism" has become to some, a dirty word. You are so fortunate that your mom paved the way for you. Growing up in the South, things were not as clear. The culture here is unique and fascinating, but not always, in my opinion, progressive. Things are changing, but not as quickly as I would like.
Suzanne,
I applaud you for putting these thoughts into words. We are fortunate to have benefited from women who were bold and brave enough to see the injustices and fight for our equalities. However, I might mention that the Equal Rights Amendment was never passed. I remember going to a protest in Washington, D. C. in the early ‘80s. Even now, we are one state short of passage. Why has this been so hard to do?
I am proud to be a feminist. I have never understood why some women work to sabotage the successes of other women. A true feminist works to lift up ALL women.
Nancy Hemric
Yes Nancy! I agree with you. We must support each other! I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t know the Equal Rights Amendment was never passed. I still have so much to learn. I think women sabotage each other because of personal insecurity. So much of that has been imposed by our society and the way so many women were raised. It is very sad, but also a hard thing to define because it’s so ingrained, much like racism…when it’s all you know, until you choose to learn differently, it’s all know. I too am proud to say I’m a feminist!