I think we accept unacceptable behavior from people because of fear and we also treat people in unacceptable ways because of fear, which is the same thing…fear causes people to behave in unacceptable ways. Hurt people hurt people. Change causes fear, but when we grow we change. Safety isn’t always safe. Our brains are programmed to resist change because it doesn’t feel safe, but we can reprogram our brains, embrace change and get off the rollercoaster!
Life is uncertain…some days are good (who knows why) and somedays, not so good! I have struggled writing this blog because I don’t ever want anyone to assume that my life is perfect or that I have all the answers, but I do really want to share my journey because I think it will help people. Everybody has their stuff and it’s nice to know that you’re not alone!
My personal life, my relationships, are all different. I think that for the most part, my relationships with my girls are good…not always perfect, but I am close to my daughters. My marriage is a different story. I want to be completely honest here, without sharing too much, but marriage is hard. I think men and women are programmed to think differently and I’m not sure why?! I say things that I think make perfect sense, but evidently don’t. I think that society teaches manipulative behavior. “Don’t make anyone feel too good about themselves, because then you can’t control them.” That is my observation anyway! It comes down to how you feel about yourself! If you know your worth, no one can make you feel bad for very long. Marriage takes commitment and a resolve to do the hard work that is sometimes required.
It seems to me that the better you make people feel about themselves, the better it is for you! What is all this competition about? In the end, we are responsible for our own life, the way we feel about ourselves, the way we react to others and how our lives go, but our relationships with the people in our lives and the way we allow them to make us feel is difficult. In relationships, we expect mutual respect, whether its from a friend, or a spouse. I’m not sure where to go from here, but honestly, I’m puzzled by the way we all treat each other. Having said that, we all teach people how to treat us and what is acceptable, but it takes serious focus to learn boundaries!
I am NOT a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.
There comes a time in life when you have to decide what you want. What will your life be like? It all depends on the decisions that you make moment to moment. The safety of the familiar can be dangerous. I sometimes get wrapped up in the memories of things that no longer serve me. There will always be opportunity for making new memories. Life is supposed to be good, but it takes a commitment to living authentically.
Very Well Said!🌸💕🌸
Thank you!!
Love this and how true it is! Thanks !❤️😘
Yes it’s so true! Thanks for always commenting Patty! Have a great day!!!
Sending hugs!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I got your hugs Jodie! Love you!
You are so real, thank you !
I want to be! This is honestly what I’m feeling right now. I am however hopeful for a different and happier tomorrow!
Thanks for sharing.
Remember that life is made up of little steps, each one, one after the other. Many times we stumble and sometimes we fall, but all in all, it’s the journey of moving forward to new destinations. That’s not to say that we don’t long for the past and to wish for the safety of yesterday.
Take care and give yourself all the time and love you need, dear friend.
Rosemary
Thank you Rosemary! I do long for that safety and security that I thought I knew, but in reality…I know that I’ll be fine and even better! Thanks so much for your comment!
So much of what you are sharing today is so very true! I believe that the present moment is the most important part of living. Every time we take our focus off the present moment, we are either trying to analyze the past or predict the future. We then miss so much truth in the current moment. Life is the journey not the final destination.
Agree! The joy is in the journey! It’s all about trying to figure out how to find joy in every day!
Thank you for your honesty. I send your postings to my daughter who is also struggling with change.
I am not sure if it helps you but your honesty helps others!
I will pray that you find peace in your decisions.
Thank you Debora. Just knowing that I’m not alone helps and I hope that others are helped knowing that they’re not alone. I will keep your daughter in my prayers.
This is where I have been for the past few months!! Thank you for sharing!!~
It’s not fun, but I do know that something great is coming. Sending you love!
The first page of The Road Less Traveled- Life is hard! I’m thankful that I have you in my life!
Honestly don’t know what I would do without you in my life! Love you sooo much Britt!
Suzanne, it takes a strong woman to open herself up so honestly, in such a public forum. I don’t know you well, but I liked and respected you immediately after we met in NY. You’ve written about issues that vex many people. You have done a kindness by sharing your thoughts and letting others know that nothing is perfect, but that we are all deserving of love and respect
Thank you Rose! I don’t know what else to do but share my journey. I can put on a cute outfit, but still feel lonely inside. You are so sweet to comment and I honestly hope that by sharing, others know that someone else is going through similar issues. We all do have our stuff!
Life is good and hard! All change brings some loss which is scary! Thankfully hope, faith and time are great healers! There is no place for competition inside real relationships & in this life we are only responsible for ourselves, great wisdom!
Take comfort and guidance in your own words for they have great insight!
Thanks Suzanne For your willingness to be real and vulnerable!
Thank you Sherry! I do sometimes write for myself and then when I go back and read what I wrote, I wonder why I’m not taking my own advice! Easier said than done sometimes. My wish is to share my journey because what I truly know is that I’m not alone! Thanks so much for your comment!
I feel like you wrote this post just for me! I, too struggle with trying to figure out my future, and it’s so tempting and comfortable to look back, to rest in the good memories – especially when when things aren’t that great in the present. But where to go from here? Everything changes – even the good stuff, so trying to hang on when your heart and soul tell you it’s time to move on -or out – or forward – in a dramatic way, that is sooo hard!!! I think the best thing is to just take each day as it comes, not to become complacent, and most importantly, to not stick with something just because of lack of energy or fear. I’m taking baby steps every day toward the future that I want for myself. Some days I feel like I make progress and other days- not so much! But at least I’m moving towards something positive! Thanks for being open and honest about your journey!
You’re so right about the baby steps! I don’t think it matters how far or fast as long as the direction is forward. Change is frightening and so often difficult, but inevitable! Thank you for your comment!
This is so true. You are so good at expressing yourself. I agree that the better we treat others the better we feel. That is why I am so flabbergasted when I witness or am the brunt of unkindness. Go figure.
Cheryl
Yeah! I agree Cheryl…being nice to other people makes YOU feel good! Can’t understand how anyone could ever not be nice to you! You are so supportive of me and I think you and your blog are amazing!
I too agree that the better we treat others the better we feel about ourselves, and often (sadly, not always) it causes other’s to treat us better…to treat other’s better. It can be quite powerful. I’ve had those great days, and not-so great day’s. I’m most certain we all have. Living in the present is what I try to focus on. The past is just that, past! There’s absolutely nothing we can do about that anyway. No regrets! And worrying about tomarrow only takes my focus off the present…Today, and causes unnecessary stress. For me, my faith, gets me through those bad time’s. Yes, everything changes, and change is often difficult, especially if we lost a loved one, endured great hardship, abuse, life threatening illnesses, but we should try to embrace it, recover from it, and re-discover ourselves. Change can also be a good thing. We only have one life, which is a great gift, and we should try to make the best of each and every day. I truly appreciate you for opening yourself up, and sharing what all of us feel. You have great wisdom to offer. Thank you for sharing.
You are so right about all of this! Our brains can keep us stuck in negative thought patterns and that’s when the spiral downward gets worse! I do believe that this is a Universe filled with love and living in the present is the key! Not always so easy, but there are so many great tools out there to help us! We are living in a time of great advancement and I believe that we can only move forward. We are resisting evolution by staying stuck in the same old negative thought patterns. I truly want to document my story in the hopes that it will help others (no one gave us a rulebook). The feedback I get from everyone who reads is helping me to be strong and I so appreciate each and every comment! Thanks so much!
So beautifully written and so authentic! Suzanne, from the moment we met you exuded pure kindness. I’m truly baffled at how someone can take the time to tear someone down and belittle them, when it takes so much less energy to be positive. My father always told me that “everybody is a somebody”.