That Thing Someone Said to You When You Were Six...

That thing that someone said to you when you were six that you’ve believed for your whole life and has affected almost everything you ever did…it probably wasn’t ever even true in the first place.

When I was eleven years old, I very vividly remember my dad saying something that, at the time, hurt very deeply, and has stayed with me as a belief until very recently. I won’t go into the details here, but the memory of that moment is still so vivid and my belief that what he said was true, changed the course of my life from that point. Words can be very powerful.

Our parents, teachers, and care givers for the most part did the best they could as we were growing up to give us what they thought we needed, but in most cases, they were caring for us through their lens of the world. Chances are that the lens they were looking through was clouded by their own skewed perceptions, because of societal views and the way they grew up.

I’ve lived most of my life believing that I needed to be fixed because of what my father said to me that day. I never stopped to wonder or question whether what he said was true or not, until recently. If I had to guess, I’m pretty sure that most of us have had situations like this in our lives…hurtful things were said to us and we’ve lived our whole lives believing them, even though they simply were not true. We never stopped to question those things or the source from which they came.

Now is the time to take a step back and start to ask some questions. It’s time to stop looking at yourself based on things others said to you and on things you’ve been through in your life. Those things were said and done because of insecurities and deeply ingrained societal beliefs of people who were given the responsibility of caring for you…even your parents. They never meant to hurt you, even though they did and in turn, you probably unintentionally hurt someone as well. It’s a cycle that needs to stop!

I’ve learned that loving myself is the most important thing I can do for me, for the people I love and for the world. I believe that self love should be everyone’s top priority and for some reason, that belief has been challenged lately.

I don’t want to offend anyone but, self love has everything to do with believing that God, Source, Universal Power created us and put us here for a reason…every single one of us. We are filled with and surrounded by the Power of the Source of all things and until we realize that, we live our lives expecting something outside of us to fix it all and I’m here to tell you…that is never going to happen…No one and nothing is coming.

The power to change your life is within you…all you have to do is get into vibrational alignment with Source. (I know, easier said than done sometimes). Healing is an inside job and Guidance is available when we connect to the Source that is always there.

Healing, however, is not a one-and-done kind of thing. It happens gradually, when you begin to believe you matter and as a result of that belief, start to do the inner work necessary for the healing to begin. Taking that first step is a signal to God (the Universe) that you are ready. God is always looking for solutions and our egos are always pointing out the problems and taking us back to the familiar…even when it’s not the best place to be.

I’m sure we all have subconscious patterns caused by trauma that we’re totally unaware of. Have you ever wondered why you choose the same kind of partner, get into the same financial situations, or have the same problems reoccur over and over? That’s your subconscious (or ego), keeping you stuck in familiar patterns because to the ego, familiar is safe.

It takes work to uncover these patterns and they don’t necessarily go away, you just become aware of them and the awareness makes it easier to choose a different behavior.

My subconscious thoughts have been causing problems in my life and showing up as behavior patterns related to emotional safety, food and other things. Being aware of my issues has helped me to take a step back before making decisions and evaluate if what I’m getting ready to do or say is the right thing. As I said above, awareness is the first step. I have a mentor who has been very helpful in working with me to uncover some of these things. This work is emotional and difficult, but the feeling of understanding why I’ve done some of the things I’ve done in my life and made decisions I’ve made is very freeing. It’s a part of my journey to loving myself more. Instead of beating myself up for things I’ve done in the past, now I can have compassion for the child that learned behavior because of trauma. I’ve truly learned that caring for our inner child is so important!

As human beings, we show up everyday with our stuff…our perceived imperfections, or quirky behaviors and our insecurities. The journey to self love doesn’t necessarily take away those things, but it helps us to have compassion for ourselves and show up differently.

The spiritual truths that I share on Crazy Blonde Life have literally changed my life in every way and I wish I had learned them much earlier. I share for that reason. I share because I wish for everyone to have peace and freedom in their lives. Being aware of our emotional baggage and bringing those deep rooted traumas into the light is not easy, but it’s the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and those around us. When you begin to heal yourself, you are an evidence to others that it can be done.

Thank you for reading today! Leave a comment if this resonates with you and DM me on Instagram, or email if you have a comment or question you would rather not share publicly.