Reflections...on Turning 58
Happy Birthday to me! Today is my 58th birthday and it seems fitting to write a post about where my life is right now! I will say that getting older definitely has it’s perks. I am happier right now than I’ve ever been in my life, but that didn’t happen on accident!
I’ve been on a spiritual journey for a while now…
Growing up, I had a bad experience with religion and related that to spirituality and it all made me very angry. I was angry at God and things didn’t make sense. Let’s suffice it to say that growing up was hard and my anger about my perception of unfairness made me needy, resentful, and I’m sure difficult to deal with. This anger wasn’t present all of the time, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some beautiful experiences and have always considered myself to be very blessed with a wonderful family. The story is complicated and way too long to get into today, but suffice it to say that I knew for a long time that there was something missing in my life. Here is a very condensed version!
I’ve always loved to read quotes…when I was younger in high school, I kept a notebook with quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, Thoreau, and others that inspired me. I think that was, in a way, the beginning of my search for truth. Fast forward to around 2013 or 2014…I found a book by Gabrielle Bernstein and went to her Spirit Junkie Masterclass in New York. This began to open me up to a whole new world and at the time, I really didn’t understand that much about what was going on, but I knew it felt good. I stepped into the metaphysical world without even knowing it and from there…my life started to fall apart in a very big way. (That was probably not what you expected me to say!)
I didn’t know at the time that having my life crumble around me was going to lead to living in a better and much more fulfilling way. I had no idea that sometimes the Universe gets your attention in order to make things better and I had no idea that I would ever be grateful for the pain!
What I did know was that I had something to say and I started Crazy Blonde Life, became a certified yoga instructor, and started to search for something to fill the void that I had been feeling for much of my life. It was a long, painful journey and taught me the best lessons that I can imagine and I am forever grateful for the pain and the lessons.
Here’s what I know to be true on this day…May 4,2021
I am part of something much larger than my thoughts and the things that go on around me on a daily basis. I have access to the power of the Universe because it is part of me. I can choose to design my life by accessing that power through meditation, prayer and study. I can choose happiness every day. Nothing anyone else does is ever about me and that is one of the most freeing things I learned. Love is my birthright and having power over my thoughts is my choice.
I’ve found it amazing that when you do the work on yourself, everything else just starts to fall into place. Life gets good…sometimes so good that it’s unimaginable. That’s not to say that I don’t have bad days or even bad weeks,…times when I doubt myself and fall back into those negative thought patterns. The difference now is…I know that there are lessons in everything and I know how to bring myself back to happy.
So, today, I will celebrate more than just turning another year older, I will celebrate turning another year happier! When you learn that it’s possible to live intuitively, life gets magical!
More than anything, I appreciate the support of everyone who reads this blog and more than anything, I wish for you the happiness and peace that I’ve found in my life! Sending out so much love to everyone today and everyday!
***Just as a side note
Things have come along my path mysteriously…learning about Gabrielle Bernstein was very unlikely and reading her book was probably even more unlikely. Her teachings led me to A Course in Miracles and Marianne Williamson. I had read Marianne Williamson’s books before but wasn’t ready for the message, Several years later, I discovered the teachings of Abraham Hicks (totally life changing and saved my marriage), and then I found Michael Beckwith (who has taught me so much). I listen to his Way of Meditation Services every morning. And…Just this month, I stumbled on a book by Florence Scovel Shinn, called The Game of Life and How to Play it, which was written in 1925 and is every bit as relevant now as it was then! I devoured this book while I was in Germany and had so many revelations about Christianity! I am so grateful for these teachers and many many others who have helped me on my journey and continue to inspire me today!