Choosing to Make Beautiful Memories

Walk and talk as if you are a confident, beautiful, successful, abundant, happy person. You get to decide whether you let negative emotions and anger take control over your life or if you use your time to practice gratitude, meditate, visualize, and choose kindness toward yourself and others. This is the ultimate kind of self care because it actually changes you in a positive way.

Making amazing memories…it sounds so romantic and we all want to have good memories, but what does that mean…does it just happen, or do we have to be purposeful?

Our family has been vacationing on Bald Head Island for over 30 years and this place brings back so many emotions and memories for me…not all of them good, but some of them I’ll treasure forever.

I’ve watched my children grow up here and they love it. Every time we talk about the possibility of selling this house and going to another beach….one that’s a little easier to get to, they freak out. Their memories are here…it feels like home so this is where they want to be!

I have come to believe that you can create your life with the goal of making amazing memories…and then, one day, look back on a beautiful life. Wow, I sure wish I had known this earlier in life, but I have learned so much in the past few years about living intentionally and the importance of staying in the present moment.

I realized several years ago that every time I came here, all the bad memories came flooding back and I turned into a very grumpy person that no one wanted to be around. Even though I could have focused on the good memories and set out to make more good memories, for some reason I chose not to do that. Even this trip, I felt myself falling into the same pattern.

If you’re always holding on to the emotions of your past, they will definitely influence your future, or ruin your beach trip. Everything happens for a reason and adversity is meant to teach us and allow us to do great things and teach others, but you have to let go of the emotion of bad memories and stop reliving them.

This means…reprogramming your brain because the truth is, your brain doesn’t care if you’re happy, it’s just trying to protect you. The main purpose of your brain is to keep you safe and make sure you survive so it sets out to warn you of all the negative things that could possibly happen…again. You’re not crazy, it’s just how we’re wired and it served us when we were cave men and women!

An article published in the National Science Foundation several years ago pointed out that 80% of our thoughts are negative, and more than 90% are exactly the same thoughts as the day before. When I talk about living the same day, day after day…that’s what I mean. Our thoughts keep us in an endless loop of living the same day over and over again. Why in the world would I want to relive the bad memories that hurt so much…so long ago.

When I realized this was happening, it took me only about a day to turn it around. At first, I was really mad at myself for even going there, but then I realized that even 2 or 3 years ago, I would have stayed in a funk for much longer. This time, however, I was able to take some time for myself and do a guided meditation by Dr. Joe Dispenza that really brought me back to where I needed to be. I have made a commitment to do this meditation for 30 days because it was so powerful and I think it’s going to be so helpful!

It is totally possible to reprogram your mind and when you realize that, it will have a profound effect on your life. That’s why I talk about it all the time!

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that “you have to believe something before you can see it”. It’s been scientifically proven that your brain doesn’t know the difference between a powerful visualization and a powerful memory…meaning, you can actually start to believe and act as if the future you want is already here…right now! You can learn to choose your thoughts, which leads to changes in your emotions, and that will change the way you act and what you are able create in your life.

I’m not going to tell you that negative thoughts won’t come up from time to time, and I’m not going to tell you that you can sit down to meditate and realize you’re making a grocery list instead of meditating. The point of meditation is to access stillness, but also to be the observer of your thoughts. Meditation is not some new age weird thing. Consistent meditation changes your brain and therefore your life because it allows you to have access to something much larger than yourself.

You can’t always control the thoughts that bounce around in your mind. But you can control what you focus on and eventually, even if it’s just for a few minutes, completely stop thought. When I’m in a bad place or when I’m having trouble shutting off the chatter in my head, a guided meditation is really helpful and there are so many good ones out there. I like meditations that includes some breath work because they helps me to focus more quickly.

What is my point?

Begin today to act as if…

Walk and talk as if you are a confident, beautiful, successful, abundant, happy person. You get to decide whether you let negative emotions and anger take control over your life or if you use your time to practice gratitude, meditate, visualize, and choose kindness toward yourself and others. This is the ultimate kind of self care because it actually changes you in a positive way.

What if…children learned this at an early age? What if…your life could be an example to others?

What if…just by choosing our thoughts and taking time to take care of ourselves in a positive way, we could…one person at a time…change the world? You do not have to be defined by your past because you can create a future that’s different and you can show others that it’s possible. In my mind, there is no better gift. Your dreams are meant to be lived!

Create your life with memories in mind…it will be a beautiful one. ~ Melanie Ann Layer

This post was originally meant to be a post about wearing neutrals into fall, but I got a little off track. I love wearing white jeans all year round and they’re such a great transitional piece. My Tory Burch sandals from last season are brown pony hair with grommets and add a definite fall dimension to this outfit but also are perfectly appropriate for right now. It can be easy to transition your summer clothing just by changing up your bag and shoes, or adding a long sleeve linen blouse (to a pair of shorts). I’m linking my exact and similar sandals in the boutique below.

I hope this post serves you in some way. My life is not perfect, but the practice of meditation has had a profound effect on the quality of my life and what I believe is possible! If you would enjoy a guided meditation video from me, geared toward women in midlife…please leave a comment in the box below.