These past few days have been kind of wonky for me. Normally, most of my days and hours are dedicated to this blog. I blog about my life, what’s on my mind, what I’m cooking, etc., but things have felt off because somehow everything I think to write about just doesn’t seem right. Yesterday morning, as I tried to meditate, my mind just would not quit wandering off and I felt frustrated when I finished. At that point, my prayer became…God, Universe, Guides of the Highest Truth and Compassion, Angels…please show me next right steps.

My question was essentially, please, show me what to do in the next moments and I felt some frustration in the not knowing. What I heard, was put things in order and then sit down. I did my workout, then put the house in order.

So often, the tasks of the day, whether it’s blogging, taking pictures, laundry, etc…seem never ending and finding the time to stop and sit down never happens, but yesterday was different. Baldy wasn’t home so I had a few hours of quiet time and I sat in our sunroom with a stack of magazines AND one of my favorite books, by one of my favorite spiritual teachers…Eckhart Tolle. I lit a candle, made myself a cup of tea and put a stack of magazines in my lap. I love to be inspired by the beautiful pictures and the great articles in magazines, but these days, I seldom have time to look at them. I was thoroughly enjoying myself and finding lots of inspiration for things to blog about when it suddenly came to me that I wanted to go for a walk. Yesterday was a much nicer day than the weather man predicted and nature is so beautiful and green right now, so I decided to wrap things up and get outside. Before I got up, I picked up Eckhart Tolle’s book, Stillness Speaks, and started to read. This book is a series of individual entries, and it is recommended that the reader read an entry or two, and then stop and ponder. It was just what I needed for my walk and even though at the time I didn’t know it, but it was also the answer to my prayer. The first two entries read…

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.

Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form.

Stillness is your essential nature. What is stillness? The inner space or awareness in which the words on this page are being perceived and become thoughts. Without that awareness, there would be no perception, no thought, no world.

You are that awareness, disguised as a person.”

I decided to stop reading and ponder that on my walk. As I walked, I tried to be very aware of the stillness surrounding me that is always there, as if I were (and we all really are), the silent observer of everything going on. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. As I was walking, I felt a sense of peace…I could hear the birds, the train, the wind blowing and the blowers blowing, and I was aware of all of it at the same time. I noticed the space between my thoughts and as my mind started to wander, I was able to bring myself back to being present.

I came home, in the same state of awareness and tried to keep it for the rest of the evening as we ate dinner and continued on with our normal routine. Before I went to sleep, I read another entry. I believe that when we sleep, our subconscious takes the things that are on our minds and starts to work them out. That’s why, when we dream, often the things that are on our minds are in our dreams. I wanted to sleep with the idea of being guided to my “next right steps”. In other words, I wanted to wake up, knowing what to do next. These are the words I read.

“When you become aware of silence, immediately there is that state of inner still alertness. You are present. You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective human conditioning.”

We all have our own consciousness, and we are also part of the collective consciousness of humanity. Right now, in the collective consciousness of humanity and in our own private consciousness, lots of people are freaking out. People are afraid…otherwise we would have toilet paper in the grocery stores and that’s just one small part of it.

I have only had a small moment of panic for myself and my situation, but I will admit that I’ve had fear surrounding what’s going to happen to our economy and our earth. What I realized after reading these entries is that I (we) need to stay in the never ending stillness of the present moment.

In the present moment, there is no fear, no projection of what might happen and no guilt and worry about the past. There is only peace in the present moment.

Most people, don’t go on a “hero’s journey” or spiritual journey until things get really bad, including myself. Part of my spiritual journey has been writing this blog, but that’s another story for another day. When the fear of what could happen takes over and adversity is right in front of us, that’s when we start trying to figure it all out. I see this all around me right now in the need that people are feeling to put positivity into the world. The beautiful images on Instagram of people at home dancing and playing with their children. The stories of people taking care of each other in the ways that they can.

Even though we as humanity are facing much adversity, we are also presented with an opportunity. An opportunity to go forward in a different way…an opportunity to go forward in a better way. What looks bad at the moment has a purpose. I believe deep in my heart that everything happens for a reason. It’s time to start taking care of ourselves, our families, and our earth. Don’t loose yourself in fear and panic. Take some time to find stillness in the present. Ask for guidance in whatever way you believe is the right way and look at this situation for what it is…a time to shift our way of thinking and make the world a better place.

The ending to this story…

Every morning, I get up, drink an unusually large amount of water, take my supplements, get a cup of coffee and sit to meditate. Lately, my meditations have been Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s guided meditations. As the Universe would have it, this morning, Oprah quoted Eckhart Tolle and referenced his book, Stillness Speaks. My meditation was deep and I felt my mind stop as it never has before. I was completely aware of the stillness of the present moment.

I ended my meditation with the prayer that I pray every morning…

“I begin this day with the wisdom to trust that I am profoundly loved and supported by the Universe. That its infinite power lives all around me and is the light within me.”

As I got up and sat down at my desk, my first impulse was to scroll through Instagram. A few seconds in, I landed on an IGTV video…Eckhart Tolle (I nearly cried), speaking to the world about the opportunity this situation is giving all of humanity to make changes for the better by being present in the moment…not projecting fear and letting the past go.

I want to include this poem that I posted on Instagram yesterday…it feels very appropriate for now.

“When this is over, May we never again take for granted…

A handshake with a stranger

Full shelves at the store

Conversations with neighbors

A crowded theatre

Friday night out

The taste of communion

A routine checkup

The school rush each morning

Coffee with a friend

The stadium roaring

Each deep breath

A boring Tuesday

Life itself.

When this ends may we find…

that we have become more like the people we wanted to be, were called to be, we hoped to be

And may we stay that way - better

For each other

Because of the worst.

~ Laura Kelly Fanucci

My prayer was answered yesterday in ways I never could have imagined and because of it, I was able to write this pot. It feels right and good to me and now, my prayer is that it serves you as you read it.