One Tiny Thing
Spending time with Rebecca in New York
Someone asked me yesterday about the how. How do I practice being happy, how do I change my life? My answer is…one moment at a time, one tiny step at a time. All too many times, we are so worried about the big things in life. The ultimate things that are supposed to happen to us…the big job, the trip of a lifetime, the dream vacation, but what about the day to day milestones and moments that we don’t celebrate. I’m going to tell you the secret to happiness, and it isn’t the house or the job or the vacation, it isn’t the big things! THE SECRET IS LEARNING TO BE HAPPY IN THIS VERY MOMENT. Wow, sounds easy right!? How many times have you heard someone say that the joy is in the journey? If you spend your whole life worrying or thinking about what’s coming (or not coming), you never have time to find joy in the now. We are all guilty of saying “I’ll be happy when…”, but when does when come?
Tomorrow never comes because it’s always today ~ Don’t waste today waiting for tomorrow!
What’s wrong with being happy right now? I know, some of you may be saying, “but this horrible thing is happening in my life” - I’m sick, or I’m going through a really rough time with my relationship, or my children are going through a rough time. Yes, everyone who is human has things happen that are difficult, but I promise that when you decide to allow yourself to dwell in the now, your life will change. It will change in ways you never imagined. I’m not saying that problems will go away, or that everything will be perfect. What I am saying is that when you stop living in the past or worrying about the future and start finding something (one tiny thing) in this very moment to appreciate, things will start to improve because that is the divine Law of Attraction at work.
Worry is a prayer for chaos!
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, trusting that by finding the joy in the present, no matter how minuscule, and knowing that all is well is your work. But also to stop beating yourself up for not doing things perfectly, to start forgiving yourself because you know you’re doing the best you can and to know that you are loved unconditionally. We all spend so much time regretting what we haven’t done, and worrying about what might happen. The reality is that the only moment we have is this one right now.
Have you ever felt like a whole month just completely passed you by and you hardly remember even being there? Or maybe you’ve been wanting to start something for a long time but you always seem to procrastinate and never get it done. We all talk about how time flies and how we can’t believe it’s already September or when did the children grow up because it “seems like just yesterday when…”. Looking back, you will likely find that some pretty awesome things happened to you over the past month, and maybe a few things that weren’t so awesome, but were you present and did you really enjoy the great things and did you look for more of those, or do you only remember the bad things…if so, you probably will get more of those.
You can spend any amount of time worrying, but it will NEVER NEVER make things any better. Worry is just a prayer for chaos. You get more of what you think about. So much of our anxiety and stress come when we’re focused on fear and disconnected from our inner voice. Learning to be still and in the present is the path to living a life beyond anything you can ever imagine. The late Wayne Dyer said that “Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.”
EVERY TIME YOU STEP OUT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT, YOU GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY.
The present moment can only be as it is. The only solution is to accept it and look for anything (big or small) that you can appreciate about it. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you have to like what’s happening, but how you decide to react needs to come out of the present moment, not out of the fears or anxiety of the past or the worry of the future. When you can be still and connect with your inner voice you always make the right decision.
When you find yourself in a place of worry or fear, here are a few suggestions to bring yourself back to the present.
Focus on your breath - Focusing on your breath is the simplest and most powerful way to stay present in every moment. When you focus on your breath, you help your mind to slow down and catch up with the present. Then you start to notice what’s going on in the now. In the present moment, you have the capacity to take action and create the life you want. Practice breathing in for 4 counts, holding for 7 counts and letting it go for 8 counts. Do this whenever you feel stressed or worried.
Keep a hair tie on your wrist and snap it (gently) when you find your mind wandering back to worry and fear. This simple action will bring you back to the present and you can “choose to see things differently”!
Feed your senses through mindfulness. When you find your mind wandering, use your senses to bring you back. Enjoy the food that you’re eating, feel the warm water in the shower as it runs down your body and smell the delicious scent of the candle burning in the room. Feel the warmth of the cup of coffee in your hands and listen to the sound of the rain or feel the warmth of the sun on your face. There is always something sensory to notice.
Take a moment to journal. Sometimes one of the best ways to get out of your head is to write it all down on paper. It might seem counter-intuitive to take the time to write everything down, but sometimes getting rid of the mental clutter allows you to let it go. After you’ve gotten everything in your mind down on paper, write about what you appreciate now and make it an exercise in being in the moment.
Create a reminder. Use whatever method works best for you…it could be a sticky note on your computer or bathroom mirror, or an alarm on your phone that will bring you back to the present.
Be outside in nature. There is nothing more healing that taking 5 minutes to sit down and notice the natural world and appreciating the beauty and enormity of it!
Make a habit of noticing new things as you go about your day. See the world with fresh eyes and notice that the world is constantly changing. Look at the world as if for the first time and find the wonder in everything.
Staying present can be difficult at times, but being in the moment is worth every ounce of effort it takes because being present really does lead to being more positive which leads to a better life, one tiny step at a time.