Have you ever had a moment, when you knew something wasn't right, but you didn't listen and things went terribly wrong?  You have a little voice inside for a reason and I call that voice, intuition.  If something seems not quite right, then it isn't!  I've known things weren't quite right for a while now, but I've been ignoring my little voice, holding on to things, even though I knew better.  I've been holding on to a life that really no longer exists, in the hope that I could recreate this idea of how things were "supposed to be".  I'm giving up my belief that my dreams and hopes will come in a certain way...they will come, but the way isn't mine to know!  My dreams and goals and desires and hopes matter, but the Universe has the plan for how I will get there.  Trying to manipulate how things will happen is the opposite of trusting.  You must trust the Universe to show you, through divine inspiration (a thought, a feeling, a small idea, or even a person you meet), how to get there.  So get on with your life, don't forget to meditate, don't forget to be still, don't forget to listen, because if you do, you might miss the instructions or path or whatever you want to call it that will lead you to your greatest desires.  I've always said that I want the fairy tale.  Everyone's fairy tale is different, but the Universe knows what my fairy tale looks like and is just waiting to show me what steps to take to get there.  I must stop trying to manipulate or control the how.

Lately, I have been trying too hard to manipulate the how, because there were certain things I didn't want to give up.  Who knows why...societal pressure, pressure on myself, an "ideal" that existed in my head of how life should be.  I know that I have been keeping my dreams and desires from being fulfilled because I thought I needed someone else to help me, because deep down somewhere, I thought I couldn't do it on my own.  Today, I'm letting go of that limiting belief.  I am the only one that can do it.  God and my Angels are all leading me and guiding me, but I haven't really been listening.  I've been waiting until when..."when certain things look like I think they should"," when things are a certain way", "when I have enough money", but the truth is that "when" never comes until we stop holding on.  I am strong, I am capable and I have the Universe on my side.  We all do.  I HAVE TO TRUST THE UNIVERSE TO GUIDE ME.  I DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE.  MY BOUNDARIES HAVE BEEN BLURRED AND I HAVE ALLOWED WAY TO MUCH IN MY LIFE THAT WASN'T GOOD, THAT DIDN'T FEEL GOOD, THAT WASN'T WORKING.  I HAVE BEEN PRETENDING THAT I WAS TRUSTING AND BEING GUIDED AND THE WHOLE TIME, I WAS TRYING TO STEER THE BOAT AND THAT NEVER NEVER WORKS.  My little voice was telling me and I wasn't listening.

It's hard to let go of something you thought was what you needed, something that felt hard to give up, but sometimes, we need to make room for something else, something better.  I've got this...me...I've got this.   I don't need to depend on someone else, I have the whole benevolent Universe with me, holding me and guiding me in the direction of my dreams and I will be ok...and so will you.  Stop trying to control everything, stop trying to figure how to make your dreams come true.  Put your dreams out there and let the Universe figure out how to make them come true.  You get to say what you want, but you have no control of how it's going to manifest.  I am safe, loved, never alone and I am OK.

Remember that there are no certainties in life; we don’t know exactly what the future will bring. Make the best and most positive use of the present moment, especially when it disappoints you!  I'm discovering every day through unexpected twists and turns that I was meant to enjoy life, but I have to allow the joy in and stop resisting the flow.  Some things just aren't meant to be and holding on keeps me from letting in the things that will move me forward and bring me the most joy.  

I'm admitting that I'm a little scared and that I'm going to need help, but I will smile through the tears and be fine.  I am not what has happened to me, I am whatever I choose to be.

“Where there is joy, there is creation. Know the nature of joy.” ~ Chandogya Upanishad

When we are able to let go and show ourselves grace and love in our own lives, we find a sense of happiness that allows us to wish for an unconditional happiness to everyone, even those who have wronged us.  That's when true healing occurs.