Change How You Show Up and Change Your Life
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
We women (and men) struggle with confidence, repetitive and negative thought patterns, anxiety and feeling irrelevant. No one wants to hear that they are the problem, but until you become aware that you are the problem, and take action…your life will stay the same.
I have the power within me to create anything I want in my life. I’ve come to realize that I’m a wave in the ocean and I am the ocean…I’m the toast and the toaster, I’m the dance and the dancer and I’m the laughter and the tears!
Everything is interconnected and I’m not separate from God. My thoughts, emotions and actions are in my control but not unless I’m aware of them. There is a beautiful flow to life when I’m tuned in to my power and focusing on where I’m going, not where I’ve been! That’s when the Universe meets me and miracles happen!
There was a time in my life (not so long ago) when my thoughts raged uncontrollably and I was a total mess. I didn’t know there was another way and life looked very bleak. Looking back, my distain for myself caused most every problem I’ve ever had. That’s why I’m certain that self love is the most important thing. When you don’t love yourself, and know that you are here on an important mission, nothing goes well and life is hard and unfulfilling. Most people, myself included, have to hit rock bottom before change happens. Self love isn’t an easy concept and one that’s easily misunderstood. It’s defined as regard for one's own well-being and happiness and a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.
Self love grows from actions that support our physical, physchological and spiritual growth. I take that to mean that self love is a daily, intentional practice. It’s not just something that magically happens one day!
You can’t be selfless when you don’t love yourself…in fact, the people who are most selfish, don’t love themselves! They live in fear and lack. I was sadly one of those people for a long time!
“You were born worthy and nothing has changed.”
I did not know that I was worthy, I did not love myself and as a result, my marriage was falling apart, I didn’t have a great relationship with my children, I was angry and I blamed everyone else for all of those things. Life was chaotic because I had abandoned myself and expected everyone else to pick up the pieces and make me happy. It never works like that!
I felt entitled to my feelings of anger, frustration, resentment and sadness. But they didn’t feel good. When I finally accepted responsibility for my life and started to work on myself, things started to change. Now, life is good (not perfect) and I understand that I made it good, just like I made it hard. That’s the reason I tell my story…I want to inspire others to begin the Journey of self awareness that leads to self love! None of this happened overnight and I can’t stress enough that loving yourself and living in the present require daily work. It really is a minute by minute, day by day journey and there is always something new to learn.
I find it completely exhilarating to know that I can tap into the power of the Universe any time I choose. I can flow in the field of possibility!
There will always be things that you want to improve about yourself! Wanting to be your best self is admirable, but you’re far more likely to achieve change if you start loving yourself just as you are right now…not when you do this or that or achieve this or that!
There will certainly still be days when you feel frustrated and see flaws (it’s perfectly normal because you’re human), but the first step to change (and having fewer of those days) is accepting yourself, today, right this minute!
I came to realize that my life would stay the same until I made up my mind and was willing to put in the time and do the work. I had to take responsibility for the mess I had made and begin to clean it up. I finally decided to make myself a priority because it was unbearable to think my life would never be any different. I knew I was unhappy and I knew it was my fault.
Constant negative thoughts will steal your joy and make your life miserable!
When I first heard that I have within me the power of the Source of all things and that I was put here for a reason and that I have a responsibility to shine…quite honestly, it was confusing and I had a hard time believing any of it…in fact, it made me angry because it seemed so hard and I didn’t feel at all shiny! I had spent most of my life feeling inadequate and unworthy. I always felt so powerless and it I believed that outside circumstances controlled my life.
The concept of inner Power was a concept I had never considered and it’s not one of those things any of us learns in school (but it should be). At that point, I was so desperate to change my life that I continued to study and try to understand new ideas like inner Power. I began to journal and meditate and contemplate. I started to become more aware of my thoughts and how they affected my emotions. I could (and still do at times) get myself worked up just thinking about the past and completely ruin my whole day and the day of everyone around me.
Awareness is the first step to change and I slowly began to embrace these new ideas and apply them to my life. It was hard and my mind kept pulling me back into the past, but now I was more aware of my thoughts and that’s what made a difference.
It’s been a journey for sure and a crooked, windy path, but I’m getting there. I work at it every.single.day and I’ve been able to change my mindset and go from a girl who blamed everyone and everything for my circumstances to a woman who accepts responsibility for the life I am creating. I created a mess and now I AM creating something great! I can live consciously or I can let life happen…it’s a daily choice. You have a choice every second of your life.
You are the one who can live in the past (remember when ?), or dream about the future (things will be better when) or, you are the one who can realize that the the only moment is the present moment and the present moment is where change begins!
There is no such thing as perfection and it’s a place no human will ever be, so take the pressure off yourself, put one foot in front of the other and take care of you.
Remember that your body, your personality, your desires, and your talents are individual blessings and stop the comparison game! Get out of your head and into your heart! Start to be aware of the “self-talk”. Start to question that voice in your head that’s telling you you aren’t good enough or pretty enough or whatever! Your mind is so used to thinking these thoughts, that until you become aware of them, they automatically play on repeat!
Consider this…If you aren’t living the life you want to live, you are saying “no” to many things, but you are also saying “yes” to things…like staying stuck, like worrying all of the time, like not getting out there and living life to the fullest. When you start to “live” in spite of your perceived flaws, you begin to say “yes” to all of the fun parts of life and no to those crazy voices in your head telling you that you’re not good enough! Sit down and be still and become aware of your thoughts and then…question them! That’s when true change happens and only you can do it. Yes it’s hard and it does get easier! Remember it’s a practice!
You’re not going to just comfortably step into a different life, it’s going to be uncomfortable, but it will be so worth it! Sadness is a choice and happiness is a choice. Of course, there will be sad times in your life…that’s part of the human experience, but being sad, mad, frustrated and anxious all of the time isn’t living.
There are circumstances in life that you can’t change, but what you can change is how you show up. The inner work you do will manifest on the outside and you will be creating a life you want to live. You are the one who has to show up for you. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be!
Take time to recite positive affirmations, practice gratitude, and sit in stillness each day and then GET OUT THERE AND LIVE!
Life will always be messy and hard at times, but it can be juicy, spicy, exciting and amazing at the same time!
I am still a work in progress and learning intentionally every day. I believe that’s how it’s supposed to be! I get excited when I discover a new book or idea that helps me to go deeper into my understanding of these spiritual principles. You and I are part of something huge but it’s not “out there”, it’s inside…we only have to realize that. You are important and your desires matter. Take the time to listen and get to know yourself. You will serve everyone in your life and more when you realize who you truly are.
Ya’ll…this post came straight from my heart and I would love to know what you think! I’ve had women talk to me about feelings of unworthiness, anxiety and hopelessness and I’ve been there. The practices I keep describing to you brought me out of a bad place…they work and I am proof. I’d love for you to tell me your thoughts and experiences in the comments!